Life seems extra challenging these days. Given the events from the last week I realize my life is beyond blessed. Clinging to that I still admit to struggling though. I’ve been tangling often these days as a way to help me re-center. (Here are two that I did in response to the diva’s weekly challenge, #181 Water.)
While explaining to Isabella that I’m an introvert and need time alone to re-energize I recognized how drained I truly am. It’s been a summer full of people which has been lovely but I’ve had little time to myself. When I get so empty it’s challenging to blunt my sensitivities to the world in general. Given the events in the news recently I’m fighting the feeling of helplessness that comes along with it. Beyond that though, the place I spent the last 11 years working and recently left, has experienced a heartbreakingly tragic accident, the death of a young child. Speechless with grief for the family, my past co-workers and myself, I’ve not been able to rise out of my sadness, knowing that for the mother, grandmother and family life will never be the same.
Despite my depression I’ve been hugging my kids a little tighter and find my gaze often lingering on them. They’ve been amazing in response to my request for patience and extra help, giving it and additional hugs and kisses freely. They’re unknowingly helping me fight the feeling that all is not right in the world because with them, I can see that the space around me is filled with promise, hope and a little bit of wonder. I know the feelings of despair will fade but until then I’ll hold on to the balm of their voices saying, “I love you, mama.”